


Saturday Night's All Right for (Street) Fighting!

by uragaaru



Category: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Boys Being Boys, Gen, Pizza, street fighter ii
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28493454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uragaaru/pseuds/uragaaru
Summary: Due to reasons, Ukyou ends up at a guys night out party at the Nekohanten. Things don't go as expected and it's all a bit awkward until videogames arrive. Written for the Ranma Zine "Kick the Night Off" which can be found here: https://t.co/v9uQQ2gSNv
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	Saturday Night's All Right for (Street) Fighting!

Ukyou arrived home from classes positively wiped. The day was mostly spent dealing with the Principal, who had decided that if he couldn't discipline the students into terrible haircuts, he could use ukelele-shaped robots to do his bidding for him. She could still feel rosewood splinters in her hair as she entered the restaurant. She heaved a sigh as she knew her day wasn't quite done yet. 

Thankfully it was quiet, with only a couple of Furinkan High students hanging out at the corner of the table nursing barley tea and a shared okonomiyaki: squid and shrimp by the look of it. She barely acknowledged her assistant Konatsu's cheerful, "Welcome Home, Miss Ukyou," as she ran upstairs, took off the gakuran and trousers of her school uniform, and changed into her usual work uniform before heading back down to man the griddle.

Konatsu was actually not doing much of anything at the moment, just standing behind the flattop grill, making sure her kimono sleeves were away from heat or grease. She was busy studying a distressingly pink and lavender postcard in her hand, holding onto only one corner of it in a way that made Ukyou think Konatsu had considered using a clean pair of tongs first

"What's that? Did the supplier send me a Happy Birthday card? Even though my birthday isn't until October."  
  
Konatsu shook her head, "No Miss Ukyou. Shampoo came by around lunch and dropped it off. I think it's an invitation for you." Konatsu deposited it into Ukyou's hands. 

  
  


_Nihao Ukyou and Maidservant!_

_Violent Girl, Ranma, and Shampoo thought to have party time this Saturday!_

_We having two parties!_ _  
  
_

_💖Girls Night at Tendo Dojo(Violent Girl, Shampoo, Maybe Violent Girl Sisters) 💖_

_💖Boys Night at Nekohanten (Airen, Stupid Mousse, Pig Boy)💖_

_Shampoo not sure where you and servant want to go, but we have fun, yes?_

_-Shampoo_

Ukyou spent time admiring the invitation, particularly focused on the hearts drawn in colored pencil. She also wondered where Shampoo got stickers of her cat self printed. 

"Miss Ukyou?" Kontasu asked

Ukyou sat at the small stool by the griddle as she thought for a moment. Did she want to go? It'd mean losing out on a night's revenue. On the other hand she had met her expenses for the month and she could make up the covers by selling lunches during the week on campus. But on the other...

Ukyou's train of thought was interrupted by noticing Konatsu seemingly vibrate into two mirror clones. 

"Konatsu? Are you trying to do you ninja clone technique?" 

Konatsu shook her head, "Oh! No! I'm sorry Miss Ukyou, I'm just excited at the idea of a real party." 

"Konatsu, it'll probably be sitting around, eating junk food and watching a sappy movie or two. It won't be like a fancy dress party like on TV."

"Sappy movies!? Do you think we'll do our nails, too?"

Ukyou sighed. "You're really into the idea, huh?" Konatsu placed a hand over her face and nodded vigorously. 

Ukyou frowned, "Well I mean, I like hanging out with Shampoo and Akane, but I'm not sure I'm up for the full ‘girls night in’ experience. Especially if Akane's sisters are also there too."

"Then why not go to the other party then, Miss Ukyou?" Konatsu suggested.

Ukyou blinked, "But I'm not..." she trailed off and considered it. True, she prided herself on being the cute one, but she was basically one of the guys most of the time at school, even filling in when they needed an extra member (or lost Ranma to the girls) for dodgeball or baseball. 

Speaking of... Ukyou also realized she'd get to spend time with Ranma. "Well, hanging out with Ran-chan wouldn't be the worst way to spend Saturday night." She smiled. "Let's do it. You can hang out with the girls and tell me how it goes and I'll hang out with Ranma-honey and others." 

Konatsu jumped a bit out of excitement, clapping her hands. "Yay! Thank you, Miss Ukyou."

"Sure. Now, did you clean the grease trap like I asked you to this morning?"

Konatsu gulped. "I'll get right on that, Miss Ukyou."

* * *

Ukyou straightened the back of her gakuran before entering the Nekohanten. She wished she had more casual clothes but much of what she had in middle school no longer fit well and with the restaurant, there wasn't much time to go shopping. Opening the door, she saw the restaurant was in the lull between lunch and dinner rushes. 

"Okonomiyaki chef," a wry, cackling voice said. Ukyou jumped a bit in fright, before realizing that Cologne had somehow materialized behind her. The old crone cackled a bit. "Gets 'em every time! They're upstairs."

Ukyou nodded and walked through the kitchen to get upstairs. Ukyou clicked her teeth and muttered to herself, "wish I had a great-grandmother who could keep the place going while I had a night off..."

When she got to the living area upstairs, she opened the door expecting to see Ranma, some party snacks, and maybe a movie. Instead, she found a quiet room that was empty save for Mousse idly picking his nose while seated next to a low table and reading a Chinese manhua. 

"Uh, Am I early?" Kuonji asked.

Mousse looked up, startled. "Ah! Saotome!?"

"No, Mousse..." Ukyou sighed. "There _is_ a party happening here, right?"

"Yes, yes. Shampoo twisted my arm to host. Almost broke my wrist. Hibiki's here, too."

Ukyou looked around seeing no sign of Ryouga. "So I heard,but... where?" 

Mouse blinked and adjusted his glasses. "Huh. He showed up like three hours ago and I told him to stay put, but he said he had to use the bathroom so..."

"Wow, he got here early for once." 

"Well actually, based on the postcard he got in the mail," Mousse pointed to a dirt-stained card on the side table by the TV, "Ranma told him the party was last Wednesday, so the idiot showed up on time"

"Who are you calling an idiot!?" A voice yelled from an interior room.

"Hibiki, that's my bedroom, not the bathroom!" 

"I—I know that! I was just... seeing if you can see Tokyo Tower from here."

"My bedroom faces westwa-oh, never mind. You better not have pissed in my closet or I swear I'll—"

"Hey, why do you have a statue of... is that the mascot of the Orix Bulls?" 

Mousse's face flushed red. "You're not messing with my Shampoo shrine, are you!?"

"Not unless Shampoo turned into a purple cow... or Barney the Dinosaur?"

"Oh for the love of..." Mousse walked into his room and dragged a confused Ryouga back out.

"Where are you takling me!? How did we end up in Sichuan?"

Ukyou sighed and slapped her forehead. "You cannot be serious, Ryouga."

"Oh, Hey!" Ryouga asked,"What are you doing here in China, Ukyou?"

Ukyou elbowed Ryouga in the head. "Get your head on straight for once."

Mousse blinked. "That's Kuonji? I assumed it was... Tarou, I guess? Why are you here and not at the dojo?" 

Ukyou looked a bit nervous. "Well, Konatsu really got into the whole 'girls night' thing and I thought someone should show up here. I mean, the gang is pretty girl-heavy already and I'm used to being one of the guys and—"

"You wanted alone time with Ranma, didn't you." Mousse and Ryouga said simultaneously.

Ukyou fell flat as the suspicion hit a critical bullseye. "Okay, fine. So much for freaking tact."

Mousse flopped down back at the table, "Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you chose poorly. Ranma's decided to join the girls at the dojo. If I had to suspect he rationalized it with some deeply twisted logic to live with his curse or Kasumi was going to make a cake."

"Wait, what?" 

"Yeah, that sounds like Ranma," Ryouga said, " _especially_ if there's cake involved."

Ukyou looked stunned, "Wait, what? What are you two just sitting around for, then?"

"What do you want us to do, Kunoji? Pull Ranma here against his will to eat sugar?" Mousse asked.

Ukyou plopped down by the table. "Dammit!" She spat and let out an annoyed grunt. "Maaaaan, I closed up shop for nothin. Maybe I can get the after train crowd if I hurry..."

"Wait! Come on, Ukyou!" Ryouga said. "Take the night off. We can have a good time! We're fun dudes!"

Ukyou narrowed her eyes. "Okay... so what snacks do you have for the party?"

Mousse looked around, "Um... I think we still have some stinky tofu and haw flakes from the last time we went to Yokohama Chinatown?"

Ukyou shook her head and turned to Ryouga, "Great. And what about you, big guy? Bring any entertainment with you?" 

Ryouga grabbed his travel pack and opened it. After rummaging through it for a moment, he pulled out a wooden doll. He pulled it apart revealing several smaller dolls inside. "Um... I got these dolls from Tahiti."

Ukyou facepalmed. "That's a matryoshka doll. It's not even—"

"I also got Grab n' Go Monopoly." Ryouga said, pulling out 

"...I'll take the Matryoshka doll."

Twenty minutes later and Ukyou was desperately thinking about going home. Admittedly, the stinky tofu wasn't the worst thing ever, but otherwise the only sounds coming from the trio was Mousse occasionally turning the page to a manga or explaining what was happening in his manhua to Ryouga, while Ukyou kept taking apart and putting back together the matryoshka doll.

"Ugh, Are we really the only guys in the friend group?" Ukyou asked. "I barely even count."

"Hmmm.." Mousse thought for a second. "Technically I'm less a friend than a mortal enemy who's in a truce because I owe Saotome my life."

Ukyou sighed. "There's gotta be something more entertaining to do than this. Maybe I should've brought my homework."

Suddenly, there was a loud noise as the door into the living room swung open. "’sup dudes!" A teenager, a bit lanky with fuzzy hair and still in his Furinkan high uniform exclaimed. Mousse, Ryouga, and Ukyou snapped out of attention like cats being hissed at by their owner. Ukyou turned and said, "Hiroshi?"  
"And Daisuke." Another teen spoke up as he came in behind Hiroshi, holding a small cardboard box. "I'm here too... why do I always get second billing? The straight man is supposed to get first billing, you know. Like Abbot & Costello or Fujiwara?"

"What are you guys doing here?" Ukyou asked. 

"Ranma invited us!" Hiroshi said. "Said we needed more dudes at the party to ‘balance out the friend dynamics’ or something." 

Daisuke moved to the TV, set the box he held and opened it, pulling out a few wires and began attaching them to the back of the set. "I think it was more he wanted to show up Akane when she invited her friends," Daisuke added. "But I ain't gonna turn down a party..." Looking up from the back of the TV, he asked, "Where is Ranma, anyway? He in the can?"

Ryouga sighed, "Ranma cut his tether and went girl for the night."

Hiroshi laughed "Hah! You owe me a coke, Dai."

Daisuke nodded. "Yeah yeah, you know I bought like three liters. I should've figured as much. He blew us off for chocolate fondue on Wednesday. It was practically inevitable. He did it last month too, it's like clockwork."

Ukyou stifled a laugh: Daisuke looked at her funny for a second before he pulled a Super Famicom and connected it to the wires from the back of the TV. he then took out a cartridge and two controllers as Hiroshi continued. 

"Ya know, it's kinda funny we're having a sleepover party at a place we'd normally order food from. I figured we can pool our funds and get some pizza, since, um... Donald?" Hiroshi pointed to Mousse, "is probably sick of ramen." 

"Donald?"

"Sorry, I don't know your name. Ranma just calls you "Angry Duck Guy who blows up at the smallest thing" so.... _Donald_ , you get it?"

"Why that wretched Saotome and his slander. I'll show him who's a one-dimensional cartoon!"

"Chill the hell out, Mousse," Ukyou snapped. "It's supposed to be a party."

Mousse stopped and looked chastised.He rubbed the back of his head and said, "Fine... but I want anchovies on my pizza. _And_ corn."

There was a pause as the room looked around at each other.

"Add some shrimp and jalapeño and I'm in!" Hiroshi said. 

Ukyou pulled out a 5000 yen bill and held up two fingers, "We'll get two pizzas," she whispered.

"Oh thank goodness," Daisuke said under his breath.

"Awesome, you wanna call in the order, big guy?" 

"Um, I don't know where we are," Ryouga responded. 

"Mousse'll call." Ukyou said. "He lives here and the pizza has a chance of getting here while it's still hot." 

"Great! Well, time for some combat!" Hiroshi declared.

"Combat? But Ukyou said no fighting," Mousse replied. "Also, the old witch will kill us if we break her table and TV watching pipe."

"Not that kind of fighting! The only combat that matters. _Street Fighter II!_ " Hiroshi led Mousse towards the TV. "Here take a controller." 

"Hey Ukyou," Daisuke called out. "Take Player 2"

Ukyou took the controller and sat down next to Mousse. 

"Pick a character from the menu then use the d-pad to move and then the buttons to punch and kick. Every character has cool moves, but we can like worry about that later." 

Ukyou looked at the menu. There was only one girl character, a Chinese girl named Chun-Li, but she wasn't feeling it just yet. Her eyes then fell on a green and orange monster in jean shorts from Brazil. 

"Ooh, he looks savage. I'm in." Ukyou said as she picked Blanka

Mousse looked at the names. "Oh Fondue. I'll pick her." 

Daisuke sighed, "That's E. Honda. He's a sumo wrestler."

The screen changed and Ukyou and Mousse found their chosen characters fighting inside of a very spacious onsen. Mousse turned his character left, facing away from Ukyou.

"All right Ukyou, give it your best shot."

"Mousse, Blanka' s on the right side of the screen," Daisuke said.

"Oh really?" Mousse leaned close until he was about 5 centimeters from the screen.

"Mousse! I can't see, man!" Ukyou called out.

"Well now everyone is on a level playfield," Hiroshi said.

"Forget this, keep your eyes on your opponent, duck boy!" Ukyou began button mashing. 

"Ah! Kuonji! I'm not ready yet!" Mousse cried out as the bleeping sounds of combat began. 

There was a back and forth as Mousse gained his bearings. After Mouse figured out the Hundred Slap and Ukyou Blanka's Electric Thunder, they were at a stalemate. Ukyou changed tack and, in a lucky moment between attacks, she jumped in and pressed all the buttons she could. Suddenly, Blanka grabbed on and bit the sumo wrestler's neck several times before throwing his now unconscious body on the floor with a bassy "ooooof" signaling the end of the round.

"Holy crap!" Ukyou exclaimed, "What was that?" 

"Ah, the Wild Fang, a bold move." Hiroshi replied sagely, "A devastating and demoralizing maneuver, reflective of Blanka's childhood growing up orphaned in the jungles of the Amazon Rainforest".

"...show me how to do that again"

"Oh, you will make a fine pupil, Kuonji." Hiroshi chuckled wryly as he grabbed another slice of pizza.. 

An hour later, Ukyou was playing head to head on Chun-Li against Ryouga on Guile. Hiroshi and Daisuke cheered the two on as Sonic Boom met with Sankaku Tobi. 

Ukyou, with just a sliver of life left, was able to get close enough to hit Ryouga with a special kick, knocking him out as she won the round. 

"Hahahaha....Yatta!" The cute Chinese martial artist on the scream said, while Ukyou raised her arms in victory.

"Heck yeah!" Ukyou exclaimed. "Better luck next time, sugar." 

Ryouga sighed. "That Spining Bird Kick is broken. Next time I'm playing Ryu."

"My turn, big guy." Daisuke said, taking Ryouga's place on the floor.

"I gotta say," Ukyou began, "this was a lot more fun than I thought at first. I know I came cause I thought Ran-chan'd be here and I wanted Konatsu to have a nice time, but it was totally worth it. You guys are pretty cool." 

* * *

The next morning Ukyou came home and saw Konatsu already there and setting up the tables for the day. 

"Hey Konatsu, when did you get home?" 

"Oh, just a little bit ago." She sighed wistfully and began humming as she went back to work.

"Looks like you had a fun night... cute nails," Ukyou noted. 

"Oh, thanks for noticing, Miss Ukyou. Nabiki did them. I wasn't sure of the color, but Ranma-chan said I should go for it." 

Ukyou blinked." 'Ranma-chan'? I see." 

"Oh it was so great, Miss Ukyou," Konatsu began, speaking breathlessly, "I mean it was awkward at first and there were screaming fights, but then Shampoo and Akane bonded over losing their mom to cancer and I helped Ranma and Kasumi with the cake and then we all cried. Well Ranma and I cried a lot. We then hugged it out and we all watched this film about a sisterhood of traveling gym shorts or something and I never felt so accepted before!"

"Sounds... great." Ukyou smiled "I'm glad you had fun."

"I left some cake in the fridge." Konatsu went back to work, beginning to mop the floors. "I hope it wasn't too boring at the Nekohanten. I was afraid you weren't going to have a good time." 

Ukyou thought about it. After hearing Konatsu's telling, she was glad she dodged a bullet. "Nah, it was good times. I think I'll take a page from Ranma and hang out with the guys once in a while from now on..." she looked at the specials menu and muttered, "Maybe I should try bird's eye chiles as an okonomiyaki topping..."

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Download the zine here: https://t.co/v9uQQ2gSNv There's some nice fan art for the story by (@kitsunepixie) as well as some other fun stories by other Ranma fanfic authors!


End file.
